Monday, June 26, 2006

My ex rates me a 6

This was the text message I got from an ex-girlfriend when I asked how she rated the sex that we had. You might wonder what prompted me to ask. No, I wasn’t carrying out a survey to compile data for a thesis that I'm doing. We were simply reminiscing about the past and she was telling me how the part of our relationship that she enjoyed most was our conversation. Well, that and kissing.

She loved kissing. And fucking. And in bed, practically nothing else in between. Her approach to sex was much like a man’s -– the only foreplay involved was kissing (and lots of it) and once you were done with that, all she wanted to do was fuck. And fuck hard. Not make love, mind you, but fuck. Yet even with all this, we both agreed that somehow sex was not the climax of our relationship. It was the conversation.

So I was driving home one day when my mind wandered back to the time when she said how sex wasn’t the central piece of our relationship (and how it wasn’t so hot anyway) that I sent her the million-dollar text message.

“You mean sex wasn’t hot??”

“Wow, you have serious delayed reaction.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10?”

“1 being the best, then 6.”

I was stunned. 6?? That’s 40%. That’s the lowest passing grade in high school.

“Wow, I didn’t expect that. I didn’t realise you had a lousy time in bed with me.”

“I didn’t say that. Besides, it’s not important. Sex isn’t what matters when I’m with you. You know that.”

"I know. But it would be nice if the sex was good anyway."

Can you have a good relationship with sex rated 6??

23 Comments:

Blogger Christa said...

Wow. That's harsh. A really good woman would have lied. Or, what you may be more worried about, is what if she did lie, and she really meant an "8". Kudos, ballsy post. I got to you from the Get Off Your Ass site, which I think technically is 'mine' but really os for all the world to love, just stopping by to say thanks for stopping by.

3:43 PM  
Blogger Christa said...

By the way, I've been married for 9 yrs, with him for, oh, I dunno- twelve- and I think that sex is on a sliding scale. You know. Sometimes a 2, sometimes a 10. Take comfort in knowing that if 6 was your average then there had to be a 3 or 4 in there somewhere. :) Ha, sorry. Your post just has me laughing. Not at you.

3:46 PM  
Blogger b o o said...

no

3:51 PM  
Blogger Suze said...

This girl sounds a little confused. She was only really interested in the sex aspect of your relationship and then she give it 6!

I think I would go look for another opinion. ;)

5:59 PM  
Blogger ChickyBabe said...

That's why she's an ex, right? :)

6:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cripes...wonder what my exes would say if i asked them? i don't think 6 is harsh - from a girl's point of view to get a 9 or 10 (if that's possible) then all the ducks need to be in a row...like the love, lust, soulmate, close friend, all the right foreplay moves, all the right afterplay moves and just the right combo of rough and soft...

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just realised that 1 is best and 10 is worst so my comments don't make sense. in tht case it would be pretty hard to give someone a 1 or 2 but maybe your ex also got the numbers wrong way round like dipsy me...

9:54 PM  
Blogger MamaChristy said...

I'm with Christa on this one. Sex is totally a sliding scale, especially when you have been together a while and if you haven't, well then the first few times shouldn't really count into the average because you are still figuring out what the other likes. If she's not much of a foreplay girl (though I don't know how she can be a "girl" if she doesn't wanna fool around a while first) perhaps that you are "low" on her scale is a ggood thing for the women you date now and in the future?

2:05 AM  
Blogger ChemGrad said...

we need to practice sex more! ahaks!

9:02 AM  
Blogger Holly said...

A 6, is this girl carazy!!? That is really harsh, maybe she said that to piss you off?! My advise - get practising, that'll show her!!

7:41 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

Hmphf. On the scale she's working with, I've been married to someone on a declining scale for over a decade now... guess he's around a 7 now.
So, to answer your Q: Yes, but not happily. =/

ps. Thx for visitin' my party. How'd ya find me?

12:51 AM  
Blogger Ms D said...

Hey thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. Your blog is an interesting read so far.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Leigh said...

Well I guess this is why she is your ex!!

Have a good day!!

1:01 PM  
Blogger The Juicer said...

christa - I'm tempted to ask my other ex-gfs about their opinion on the subject. Would make an interesting post i reckon ;)

boo - Great sex's a must for you then.

suze - Do you think my ex-gfs would think I'm nuts if I asked them, haha.

chickybabe - Exactly.

spoon - I don't know if I even have all the ducks, let alone if they're in a row.

mamachristy - So I'm sensing that this is a good thing. Thanks :)

2:06 PM  
Blogger The Juicer said...

kid - Let's get on with it then ;)

moo - That's a proactive approach. Could you be my life coach?

glitter - I'm just a regular guy, who's been told he's a 6 *sob*

missy - Thanks, I try my best :) Let me know how I can keep it interesting ;)

leigh - You have a great day too, thanks for coming by ;)

2:11 PM  
Blogger Mone said...

sex is important. period.
there is no such thing as a good relationship with bad sex!

6:16 PM  
Blogger Holly said...

Become your life coach Juice, I cant even run my own life!! Mind you, would be a laugh!

3:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Followed from Chickybabe's blog.

The thing with a 6 is that there's room for improvement. Like my piano teacher said "Practice, practice, practice until you stop getting it wrong." Okay, sure I quit the piano lessons but I play a mean chopsticks.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Lee Ann said...

Wow, I think sex is an important part of a relationship. But more of the making love, sharing the intimacy with another is the most important. I don't disagree with some good hard sex too, but I definitely think that making love should be the most of the sex.
But, I am a romantic at heart.

10:48 AM  
Blogger ChemGrad said...

u like to wink! ;)

2:35 PM  
Blogger The Juicer said...

mone - What about after many years down the road, when sex is no longer the climax of the relationship?

moo - I'd do (almost) anything for a laugh. Have fun in Brighton.

jenna howard - You're definitely a the-glass-is-half-full kinda person. Hurray for the optimist!

lee ann - I prefer slow, intimate, romantic sex too with lots of foreplay, but she says she wished that I were more aggressive.

kid - So do you ;)

5:13 PM  
Blogger Holly said...

Really, anything!!? Right then...

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great site » » »

12:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home