No kissing down there, please

If some of you thought it was odd that she didn't like foreplay, then you'd probably be more interested to know that she also didn't like being kissed down there.

It had nothing to do with me - she just didn't enjoy cunnilingus. I know this because she pushed me away the very first time I attempted the deed, and told me it wasn't something she enjoyed. Further attempts similarly met with limited success.

I managed to pursue this initiative to some degree after some persuasion but despite clearly enjoying it [she even bashfully admitted to it later] she still didn't let me finish. I swear if I had been allowed to continue for one more minute, she would have reached orgasm. Which might just be the thing that could change her perspective on the whole issue. I didn't quite understand it -- you don't quite expect your partner to push your head away and say "please, don't" when you're spreading her legs and preparing to muff dive.

More than just being odd, for me this presented a bigger problem. You see, in bed I'm what you'd call A Pleaser. Most of what I do in bed is aimed at making the other person enjoy her time with me. If she's happy then I'm happy. And my abilities in cunnilingus are a big part of the arsenal I bring to the battle.

Judging from past experience, I do a darn good job of it too. So when I'm deprived of this particular mode of attack, it feels like I'm put in a boxing ring with one hand tied behind my back. What's worse (?) is that she's A Pleaser too, and relishes going down on me without wanting me to reciprocate.

Sometimes I wonder where she gets the stamina. One night in a parked car she never once came up for air as she went about her task, knowing full well there were people in the parking lot. After she was done, she looked up to me, hair completely dishevelled, and asked "did anyone pass by?". There are some moments in your lifetime that are so impactful that you unconscioulsy capture them in your mental hard drive, ready to be replayed over and over again -- this was clearly one such moment.

Now I KNOW most men wouldn't find this a problem and would probably even congratulate me for finding the perfect girl -- someone who enjoys performing oral sex but hates receiving it. But the truth is I feel guilty whenever she gives me a blow job because I feel it was unfair. I'm not sure who's more odd -- me or her.

My ex rates me a 6

This was the text message I got from an ex-girlfriend when I asked how she rated the sex that we had. You might wonder what prompted me to ask. No, I wasn’t carrying out a survey to compile data for a thesis that I'm doing. We were simply reminiscing about the past and she was telling me how the part of our relationship that she enjoyed most was our conversation. Well, that and kissing.

She loved kissing. And fucking. And in bed, practically nothing else in between. Her approach to sex was much like a man’s -– the only foreplay involved was kissing (and lots of it) and once you were done with that, all she wanted to do was fuck. And fuck hard. Not make love, mind you, but fuck. Yet even with all this, we both agreed that somehow sex was not the climax of our relationship. It was the conversation.

So I was driving home one day when my mind wandered back to the time when she said how sex wasn’t the central piece of our relationship (and how it wasn’t so hot anyway) that I sent her the million-dollar text message.

“You mean sex wasn’t hot??”

“Wow, you have serious delayed reaction.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10?”

“1 being the best, then 6.”

I was stunned. 6?? That’s 40%. That’s the lowest passing grade in high school.

“Wow, I didn’t expect that. I didn’t realise you had a lousy time in bed with me.”

“I didn’t say that. Besides, it’s not important. Sex isn’t what matters when I’m with you. You know that.”

"I know. But it would be nice if the sex was good anyway."

Can you have a good relationship with sex rated 6??

I might get to see my friend naked

A friend who's in the market for a job told me that she'd rather let me see her naked than see her CV.

You see, she was asking for my opinion on some stuff that's in her CV so I asked her to email it to me. To my surprise, she went all coy and said she was shy (she is a very confident person in real life). Looking back, it's rather understandable. The CV is a document in which you put your best foot forward and blow your own horn so it can be slightly embarassing or uncomfortable for a close friend or family member to see you positioning yourself like that. Never mind that you let the whole recruiting world see it and pass it around.

I'd like to think of myself as a good friend and I don't want to let her down. So like any good friend in this type of situation, I'm taking her up on her word and arranging for her to let me see her naked. I'll let you know if it works out.

Are you gonna post something useful soon or is this gonna be it?

I hope to post something useful soon but I thought I'd cover some basic questions about this site before we get to the real stuff. Anyone who's got any clue what the real stuff is should come talk to me.

What's with the irrelevant URL?

I know you surf the Net at work. Would you rather have some dubious looking URL to appear in your URL history or something more officious sounding like "researchresource"?

I thought so. Carry on surfing.

What makes this one different?

It's a bit like asking the author of a new book, "There are hundreds of books on the same subject out there. What makes this one different?"

Because this one's written by me.